Today I was sitting in my kitchen eating something when my parents came in the room in the middle of a conversation. My dad said "Oh I see that you returned the videos, thanks." My mom stayed silent and just kind of nodded. A few minutes later when my dad went into the garage he came back into the kitchen and said "I saw the videos in your car, I thought you returned them," to which my mother replied, "Well I never actually said anything. I'm planning on returning them on the way to Philly tonight." Hearing this conversation, I mentioned that withholding information is still a form of deception, as discussed in the book I read, The Language of Deception, by Dariusz Galasinski. My mom was adamant that she didn't deceive my dad however. She kept saying that since she didn't actually reply to my dad the first time, she couldn't have made him believe anything. I pointed out that her silence was an assumed acceptance of the condition that my dad set up.
Although my argument may get me extra chores in the next week, it also got me thinking about the nature of silence. Is it as effective as words? I think a lot of times, silence causes people to assume the worst, and other times it causes people to assume agreement, like the case with my parents. But how much semantic weight can we give silence? It's not technically included in the study of words, but the study of communication, well that's another story. What does everyone else think?
-Alexa
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I think this is like what Hayakawa said that the absence of a symbol also being a symbol. He used the example of a tie symbolizing something, and the absence of a tie symbolizing something else. I this case, the symbol is the most commonly used symbol, words. Words can get our point across, but the absence of words can also. Body language can be just as good a form of communication as words are.
ReplyDelete-Audrey
I've heard multiple times that the lack of words, aka body language, made up 90% of our language. And nonverbal communication really is important. While the supposed 10% of our communication is not to be underrated, the body language really does count. And the interpretation of body language is a whole different matter. We can interpret someone's silence as tacit compliance when it really isn't. A snap might mean a summoning or a dismissal. Our interpretations, or rather assumptions, can make us look rather silly sometimes, or can lead to debates about deception. As my Latin teacher says, "When you assume, you make a HMM out of you and me."
ReplyDelete-- tori
p.s. Another example! Her "HMM," the lack of words, is also up to the interpretation of the audience. Either they will understand it or it will float above their heads.
Silences have many uses in communication, and I agree that they are just as important as words. Silences give impressions without excplcitly stating what it is we want to say. They make the hearer infer what we are communicating. Mrs. Allen doesn't want to curse in school, so she lets us infer what she means when she goes HMM. Or your mom, doesn't want to tell your dad she didn't return the movies, so she lets him infer that she did.
ReplyDeleteAnother very common example is when you give someone "the silent treatment". This is a very successful way of telling a person you are upset with them and expecting them to apologize, without having to say so. The message is clear, you are angry, not going to compromise, and expect them to prove they are truly sorry by begging you to speak to them. For saying absolutely nothing, the silent treatment can say a lot.
~Becca